INTERROGATE ERNIE SCAR - YOUR LETTERS ANSWERED BY THE MAN WHO WAS THE VOICE OF ERNIE SCAR!

Ernie and I have decided to just talk, and whenever something really noteworthy comes up, I'll jot it down in this section. It's a new chapter called Ernie's Scars! In it, you'll find out little tid bits. The questions and answers are still below. Scroll down for those.

"I think a common misconception for many people is still that Ernie Scar is still out in the workforce every day doing his thing ... Hence we get these demands from people like this cowboy for me to "come clean" and apologize so i can "save my neck". That's all I mean about living back in 1986. That's where this thing is for me ... a snapshot from a scrapbook of Alberta in 1986. Its like asking John Lennon to talk about the White Album. His experience is not the same as that of the rabid fans. Ernie Scar doesn't work here anymore. I just wish people could get that through their heads."

Michael Anthony quotes: And we don't make you check your knives at the door, even if they are 21 inches long.

Ernie Scar: 22 inches long! That, by the way, was from another news report back in the day, where the Lethbridge cops shot some guy at the Bridge Inn who was threatening them with a 22-inch blade. Like the court report shit, I'm not making any of this up. It's (Brocket 99) the world's first Reality Show.

'Michael Anthony': the worst thing you said on the tape wasn't even what was said but what was "implied" Drunks, fell out of the back of the trunk, all but 3 people on the reserve are drunkards and bums... It was more implicated speech. You never suggested that these people should be killed or anything of the sort. And you continued to make stabs at the "whitey fucks"

After allowing fans of Brocket 99 to ask the actual Ernie Scar questions about our favorite parody, ole Mr. Catface has decided to hang up his quill at the end of 2004. People just didn't take it too seriously and I think the one question that most people wanted the answer to, couldn't be given. That is, who is Ernie Scar? What is his name and so on.

Ernie and I have decided to just talk, and whenever something really noteworthy comes up, I'll jot it down in the Brocketology & interrogation sections. It's a new chapter called Ernie's Scars! In it, you'll find out little tid bits that explain much of what relates to the making of the tape. I hope you enjoy it!

hey Ernie,

i never saw Brocket 99 as a hate thing either but do
you ever think any native or PC person will believe
that? they all seem to have it out for you. other anti
native sites that end in .ca just seem to fuel the
fire. sad to see you go.

happy new year.

Nicole

Congratulations for getting the final question in just under the wire ... seems to me like it deserves a door prize of some kind.

Brocket 99 was not conceived as a "hate thing", but rather as a means to take the piss out of local radio at that time in that particular region, using the surroundings as a vehicle. Its not for me to imply what it says about Albertans in general, but someone made a comment on one of the message boards on this website sometime in the last year or so to the effect that, if you told Albertans that Natives were just the "vehicle" for a broader-based comedic/satirical piece, they wouldn't know what you were talking about. That may or may not be so, depending on who's listening. I know of lots of people - not just in my immediate circle - that "get" what its all about, that don't take offense to it, and Michael can vouch for that. But of course there are many Native and PC people that , as you say, do not. That is to be expected. And there are certain websites that do indeed fan the fire, but actually miss the joke. This is unfortunate.

Over the course of these events in the last 18 months to two years, I am certainly forced to have to think more about something done in the excess of youth, for at that time, who could see the future? I've also found two things that I can, oddly enough, relate to, and draw a parallel between my story and theirs in the time since. First is the superb novel "The Human Stain" by Philip Roth, and Ray Muller's excellent film, "The Wonderful Horrible Life of Leni Riefenstahl." Both narrate the story of an individual - one fictional, the other very real - and political correctness gone mad in relation to how others perceive them, their words, work and actions. Ms. Riefenstahl was still suffering the backlash and subsequent destruction of her career, and ostracism from her society (at the time Muller's documentary was made) for a film she'd made over 50 years before ... a film which, incidentally, won international gold medals for excellence at the time, before world events dealt it - and her - a different fate.

This program Brocket 99 is nowhere near as earth-shaking, don't misunderstand my use of this example. But there are certain parallels between the two instances of programs with disagreeable content. In the end, 20 years later, am I ashamed of Brocket 99? No. How could I be ashamed of something that was simply done to entertain myself, and maybe three or four other people? Am I proud of it? Maybe. After all, for something I would have done a much better job on had I been clairvoyant enough at the time to know its eventual fate ... it certainly has made a name for itself in some small way. So maybe astounded is a better word than proud. Do I regret having made it? Absolutely. Regardless of how many people may have taken it under their wing, or may "like" it, it still isn't worth all the negativity - especially since it wasn't really supposed to be heard by anyone else anyhow. To answer your question in a word, no. I don't think for a minute that they will believe it. Nor do I believe for a moment that there is any immediate end in sight for it, because one you've reached Urban Legend status you certainly can't go back. God help us.

Happy New Year to you also. May everything continue to go well for you in the future.

how much $ would it take for Ernie to come out and
make a movie..
not that I'm offering i don't have enough scratch to pay
my bills..

A fair question, and thanks for writing in time. 'Ol Ernie has been inundated with many similar ideas over the years. To be honest with you, the only way a movie could happen or work (as far as I am concerned) would be if the content was not so blatantly stereotypical, or if it was perhaps done as a cartoon ... hell, even the Three Stooges got their own cartoon show eventually. And I would only want to see it done in a way that Native people would, if not approve of, then at least not go completely apeshit about ... perhaps have Native advisers or contributers/characters. But that is not really my field of expertise, and would certainly never happen in this time of PC paranoia ... which brings us to our next letter. Personally speaking, I would never take part or appear in such a project - but there's no telling what someone else may do with it down the road somewhere.

Ernie,

IN British Columbia, you were pretty much issued a scratchy poor quality copy of Brockett 99 as soon as you hit grade 8. Since then I always pondered, when you said "chances of frost, better cover up the stinkweed", are we talking the GOOD stinkweed?

Thanks for years of laughs

Mike

I always thought stinkweed was actually just a common weed found by the side of the road which had been elevated to gourmet status by Brocket residents for use in flower arranging. I had no idea of its actual herbal connections until I heard the Don and Mike Show interview many months ago, where the question is asked: " ... Does anyone know what 'cover up the stinkweed ' means?'" and the answer " ... cover up your pot" was given. More recently, I saw a poster that lists all the various types of ganga that may be found ... and sure enough, good 'ol stinkweed is prominently displayed. Ernie made a lame joke at the time, and didn't even know it. Glad to hear you've been entertained all these years Mike, and to put your question into context, I guess we'd have to assume that if Ernie was urging his listeners to practice the proper gardening skills with the approach of an autumn frost in Brocket, we should therefore assume that it was out of concern for the preservation of the GOOD stinkweed.

Hey, I just read the sad news about Ernie not answering questions anymore. So, I'm prompted to ask, "are you guys still planning on making a Brocket 2?"

Dug

Now that I'm retired from all my positions at the Blood Corporation, I've got a bit more free time to work on other projects ... primarily restoring some semblance of health and well-being to my body, mind and liver after nearly 20 years as the morning host at The Reservation's Hottest Rock: BROCKET 99. I will still do the odd bit of consultancy work once in many moons through my other company The Ernie Scar Group, but I remain for the most part, unconnected with any future developments of the Brocket 99 program, its offshoots or characters. My advice would be to simply keep checking in here at www.brocket99.net on a regular basis for any further developments ... my understanding at this point is that you "...won't believe your Iris." I've enjoyed the Interrogate Ernie Scar feature for the last few months, but it seems to have run its course; and as I said at the beginning of my involvement with the website about a year and a half ago, my only intention was to help kick things off for Michael, Chris Blind-Eyed Fuck and the gang, then bow out after making sure the right version of Brocket 99 's origins went out to an (it seems) ever insatiable world - who continue to be interested in the program's ongoing life.

I was listening to the Brocket side one file you provide in streaming audio on your site, and at the end Ernie says that "side one is almost over, so just leave da tape
deck in ur car and it should just flip over to side two". So when Brocket 99 was recorded originally, they knew it would be recorded to cassette for people to listen too?

Nice to see somebody still has a question for 'ol Ernie now and then ... thanks for taking the time to write. You've answered your own question, really. Back in the gaslight era when Brocket 99 was recorded, we were still struggling along with analogue tape machines, scratchy records and genuine Lethbridge Pilsner beer. The sound board in the production studio where the recording was made, or where the final 90-minute version was finished, was still an old vacuum-tube model. These were also the days when CD's were just coming on the market, the selection of available repertoire was the shits and prices were still sky-high ... and the radio stations were still playing Lp's and 45's on the air in addition to their carted stuff. In retrospect I guess it just adds to the charm of the thing, listening to it now, having it made under the technology that was available at the time. So yeah, it was produced for cassette tape, and primarily to give myself a laugh when I played it on the auto-reverse tape player in my own car.

If B99 isn't racist then why does the tape constantly say things like 3 people on the reserve are not drunkards and bums. We are working on them to make them see our way of thinking. Your tape is highly racist and hateful and you know it. -ANONYMOUS

Anyone who's followed the discussions on this website for the last year, read my previous answers, and read my opening statement have already had this question answered time and time and time again... son of a bitch I tell you. It is a parody. Again, this was not meant for public consumption. I don't care if you or anyone else believes that or not. I now find myself having to justify or defend something that no one was meant to hear in the first place... have I said this before? To say that something is "hateful" would preclude that there was intent... intent to purposely distribute this tape with an agenda to inflict HATE propaganda against Natives. Not so. If the creators of this program had an agenda to purposely distribute this tape around the world in thousands of copies, and purposely seek to foster some kind of following or audience for it then, frankly, I would have done a better job. I don't really think it is as great as some would make it out to be. Nonetheless - as I have said before - it fits into the category of radio theatre, a send-up of radio, and comedy. It is a parody... a satire. You will never be able to make humour or parody against a specified group without offending someone. This is to be expected. As an open letter recently distributed in Quebec newspapers in regard to another public brou-ha-ha over satire in that province, more than 30 Quebec entertainers and comedians said that:

To assume that I or anyone else involved in the production of this program had intent to be "racist" or "hateful and you know it", is simply your opinion. It doesn't mean that its true.

How many people were actually involved in the creation of the tape? Where was it recorded (I heard it was at the Lethbridge College/University) and what were the immediate reprocussions once they figured out who made it? And, what possessed you to create the tape in the first place? All I want is a little history on it, since it seems to be a mystery to most people.

I suppose you could go through your copy and count how many different voices are there. From memory I think I could say there were about six different voices that contributed bits to it all together. It was recorded in parts at two different radio stations in Southern Alberta (both now defunct) over a period of weeks and months. There were no immediate repercussions... no-one was ever fired because of Brocket 99.** The initial inspiration for Brocket 99 came from a short tape clip of another radio parody called AIDS Radio. It was the same format, only the satire was directed towards gay men... The stereotyped speech, announcers having names like Hugh Jardon, musical selections by the Village People, Barbra Streisand, etc. With Brocket 99 however, the same basic idea was employed just using images that someone in Southern Alberta could relate to. The joke however, is that, for example, at the start of the newscast, the news sounder is the same news sounder commonly heard every day on this particular station in Southern Alberta. Recognizing that is what makes it really funny for residents in that particular part of the country. Same thing with the funeral announcements, a daily feature every day in the noon-hour show on another Lethbridge radio station at the time. Its just simply satirizing something that people heard on radio there every day. But unfortunately, most detractors tend to concentrate on the point that we're drawing attention to the fact that Eugene Manyfingers was fined fifty dollars for being intoxicated in a public fucking place. But that's not really what its about.

** Take advantage of Michael Anthony's interview with Lethbridge celebrity Mark Campbell. This discussion sheds a bit more light on your question, from a man who was widely blamed (and in some quarters still is) for Brocket 99, although wrongly.

how do we know you are the real Ernie Scar? How did Michael verify that? Who has possession of the Original Master tapes? and finally, what repercussions did you/you guys actually go thru after this got out? job losses? thanks, I've always enjoyed the tape and will be purchasing the cd set.

I guess you should direct your question to * Michael, Dino. He's had more verifications form other parties over the months since this website started that pretty well confirmed it for him. There is a reel-to-reel master of the first hour of the program currently in the possession of Sammy Eagle Vomit, as far as I know. I retain possession of the final, 90-minute version master that was eventually released through underground channels. Same for Rare and Unreleased. Repercussions-wise, there was nothing directly apparent immediately. It took quite some time for things to seep out. Any stink that's been churned up by the program has all surfaced years after the fact, and has especially received a new transfusion of interest with the advent of the internet.

* From Michael - If you have yet to hear our Ernie Scar Interview take a look. It answers this type of question as completely as possible.

"Why, after all these years did you finally decide to go public (giving an interview to brocket99.net) and why is it that you seem to only talk with brocket99.net and not other sources.

With some trepidation I'm entering into this little "tete-a-tete with Ernie Scar" feature with you, but I still want to clear some things up with our legions of fans, and other observers - friend or foe.

I think I got into this a bit with you on the recorded interview, but I'll repeat that I had only accidentally become aware of just exactly how big Brocket 99 had become maybe about two years ago, about the time you'd started this site I suppose. I was on the computer one day, and for a laugh I thought I'd type in "Brocket 99" and see what happened. I was pretty flabbergasted as I told you, and spent the next few days surfing around surveying the extent of our favorite radio parody's infecting the world-wide web like some cancer. Honestly, had I not been the owner of a computer, I still would not know about ANY of this. Time went by, and it began to sink in a little bit as to the extent of this thing. After I'd stewed over it for a few days, I eventually sent you that first message, and our relationship grew from there. It became evident that apart from just being another site where you could download mp3, the individual behind "Brocket99.net" clearly posessed the evil brain of a true fan, and the love and dedication that you put into the site -- what to speak of the re-mastering and re-packaging of the program on CD, plus everything on Caf� Press from bumper stickers to frisbees to thong underwear bearing the Brocket 99 logo -- makes you stand apart from the rest.

There was a statement on the alternative site Brocket99.ca that I'd managed to dig up the other day, where the people there said that since there's no copyright on this program, everyone can feel free to copy and spread it around to their heart's content. This is not the case. The program and the name Brocket 99 has in fact been registered as a copyright since 1996. In effect, everyone on the planet that has a copy of this program owes me 20 bucks... but hey, in these times of "... knee-jerk outrage", I guess that would leave me appearing to profit from the fruits of Neo-Nazi-Red-Neck-Racist-Garbage-Scurrilous-Hate-Mongering-Stereotyping-Ill-Informed-Un-Educated-Mean-Spirited hate literature. Or something like that. Did I leave anything out? If so, add it to the aforementioned list.

I am not in the Brocket 99 Business. Frankly, I can't understand what everyone sees in this thing, although I can understand what everyone that hates it sees in it. I apologize for that, but I've set my thoughts on that out pretty well in my opening statement. You're not giving me a dime from the proceeds of any of this. This is the way I believe it should be, since it is such a divisive thing. I'm not wishing to be seen as a purveyor of this stuff and even more so, to be benefiting from it. The only motive I have in getting in touch with you at all is to, as I've said, get the right version of the story going out. As you know, there have been a couple different production companies sniffing around on the trail of possibly doing a film of some kind on Brocket 99. Even though -- if it is done with the right motive -- it may help to dispel some of the negativity associated with it, I am leery of something of that kind of permanence being done, for in the end, it will ultimately only encourage further spreading of the tapes and CDs, and lengthening of the legend even further. I hope these people take that into consideration as they embark on their quest for justice.

The biggest mill-stone around my neck has been this ridiculous, off-the-wall assertion for years and years that Mark Campbell had a hand in this. I thought I should at least do something to try and relieve some of the pressure being sent in his direction. We'd communicated briefly maybe a couple years ago or something, and he told me at that time that he really doesn't give a shit personally. I'll believe that when he stops distancing himself from it in the Lethbridge media on a practically regular basis... But on the other hand, I don't blame him for constantly bringing it up when everyone that's firmly convinced he's responsible just will not let it go. Mark's clean, people. Give it a rest, okay?? Let's move beyond Mark Campbell. I'm also glad that you Michael, have made your interview with him available, and I encourage as many as possible to take advantage of it. Incidentally, I would also say that I am grateful for the "inner circle" extending me the courtesy of not blabbering my name around the world in this regard. I therefore extend them the same courtesy. So we should probably discourage those that want to write in asking who's doing what, when and where. I'm not going to name names. Its really not that important anyway. My desire is to clear up misconceptions as to the motivations of Brocket 99, put things into perspective, assure everyone that you/I/we are not on a deliberate campaign to destroy the Native people of Canada... or anywhere else.

I was initially very skeptical of your site, but I believe where Brocket99.net blows the doors off the competition is in the fact that it tells both sides of the story, pro and con. For as many people across this country, across America and various points across the world over the last nearly 20 years that have found Brocket 99 side-splittingly hilarious, there have also been a fair number that have been mightily pissed-off by it by the same token, and rightly so. This website tries to bring both sides together, in discussion (for those that want to actually enter into it) to hear each other out. Because I think we can safely assume that this thing is not going to go away. There's too many people that won't let that happen. That has to be faced. So you've got links to real Native content and websites, and everyone is encouraged to converse. Although, not many have... so far. I'm not going to get into mud slinging with this column either. If you're just going to write in to call me an asshole, to fuck myself and go to hell, then I won't talk to you. I'll be around as long as the conversation is intelligent, and we're getting somewhere towards a better understanding. If it starts to go terribly in the opposite direction, then I'll just go back into inaccessibility. We also discourage letters of the type sent to my brudder Lenard's column. He's the type of guy that helps you with problems I'm not qualified to deal with. I didn't even know Lysol comes in lemon flavour now anyway.

Thank you for this opportunity, Michael. It has been long overdue. Thanks to everyone that supports Brocket 99 and has good memories of it over the years. But since Frankenstein's monster is roaming freely hither and yon throughout the land, I just want to state again that he is not to be feared. Feel free to despise him and try to kill him if you wish to... that is your right. But what we are trying to do here is to show people that under his seemingly ugly exterior, he is a creature that meant well, before he started getting all that bad press.

WHY DIDN'T ERNIE CHANGE HIS VOICE EVER? WHEN HE WAS OTHER CHARACTERS OR ON THE PHONE?

This is a good question, the answer to which is one that I have a feeling I'm going to be giving quite frequently. Primarily given the fact that it was not a "big" production, without plans for world distribution, and that I was basically entertaining myself and maybe three other people - plus the fact that most of it was done on the fly - not a lot of thought was put into doing a production "for the ages", or any effort made to obtain a cast of thousands. The only time Ernie ever really changes his voice to any degree is when he becomes "Peter Yellowhorn" briefly in the last segment.**

If you want to hear an example of this type of one-man production done right, I can recommend another underground radio parody/spoof-type production from the early to mid-80's, Radio Ram. A send-up of godless, materialistic modern society with a "transcendental" twist. A cast of multiple characters all voiced by the same guy, and produced under about the same technical conditions as Brocket 99, maybe even less. This is another one of those underground productions that's been around for twenty-some odd years, but you have to know someone who has one, etc., etc., blah, blah, blah.

** Belated apologies to the real Peter Yellowhorn back in Southern Alberta for the use of his name. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Have you ever thought about doing a DJ show live at some nightclubs in Alberta/BC? I work with a concert promoter, and we kinda stumbled on the site and thought it might be a cool idea.

In fact, I have deejayed in a couple different nightclubs back in the mists of time, and overall, didn't really care for it all that much. It was a good way to further my intake of drugs and alcohol on a regular basis, otherwise I couldn't really see anything positive coming from it. Besides, ol' Ernie's talking to you from his comfy chair at the Brocket Acres Retirement Teepee, and won't be making any comeback. Thanks for asking, though... I appreciate it. Thank you for your interest in Brocket 99.

It seems to me since you never did anything big with Brocket 99 and won't say who you are, that you must be ashamed of what you've done. Is that true?

I personally never had intended to do anything 'big' with our favourite radio parody. As you can see from the T-Shirt Countdown website and the Cafe Press link on this website, anything being done with the program lately is not being done by be, nor will it be. I have not, essentially, re-emerged to make some comeback with this thing. I'm not hangin' around here too long. After I've answered everyone's questions to the point that they're becoming repetitive, I'm going back into the teepee and leaving you all to your own devices. This is a limited-time-offer. We have some film-makers working on some ideas - what to speak of FUBAR - which are taking things to another level, but I have nothing to do with this. I don't want to achieve anything with this personally, never did. Its everyone else around the country and around cyber-space that are making a big deal of it, not me.

The mystery is part of the allure. Anyone 'in the know' has always known the identities of myself and the rest of those responsible, this has always been an open secret. It has never been any great mystery. Since it has become one of the greatest divisive issues in Southern Alberta in recent recorded memory (which is quite ridiculous if you think about it), and since we live in an age when the humour of Nestor Pistor would now be found politically out of fashion, anything that focuses on an identifiable group of any kind is frowned upon. So initially, this was cause for some concern. But its not primarily a racial gag. After I did a little more research into the history of radio parody, satire and comedic broadcasts from the past - many of which are available in your public library and local CD shop - I found that this program actually has a niche into which it fits alongside other programs of its type... many by well-known personalities, some of an even more offensive nature than this, depending on where you're coming from. As our friend Dick Twang says, you're never going to do anything funny without offending a few people. Once it was unleashed to the world through underground channels, I may have had some trepidation as to how it would fly in some circles, but I've never been ashamed of it, no. You have to remember that it was never intended for public consumption. This is something we're only seeing the results of now, years and years later.

I was just wondering, how long did it take you to write the entire program? Did you and a couple of buddies sit around one night and crank it out, or did it take some time? Or did you do it all off the top of your head in a drunken stupor? Finally, from what you have heard on Michael's site, about how much of the "original" Brocket 99 is out there? 70%? 90%? Or are you like dat fuckin' whitey Prince who has literally years of material stored away for "personal use"?

The original 90-minute program was all done piecemeal, over a period of weeks and months, then all the bits taken in and strung together with music and commentary, which was all off the cuff, by the way. All the bits and the announcer commentary was ad-libbed in one take. Some of the commercials may have had to be re-done a couple times due to breaking up laughing in the middle, but generally it was all done in one take. The newscast with Clarence Weaselfat and Horace In A Drunken Stupor was read straight out of the Court Listings of the local newspaper. None of those names or situations were made up. No one was ever drunk or under the influence of any 'substances' during any of the sessions... I don't know if that's good or bad(!?) Brocket 99 II Rare and Unreleased from a few years later was all scripted out beforehand. Those were all done in one take too, although read off a script. As far as I can remember, the Story of The Great White Buffalo had to be re-done maybe eight or ten times due to laughing. I'd sure like to see those outtakes re-emerge from somewhere if they still exist.

As far as how much Brocket 99 is now out there, as far as I know, that's it. The full 90 minute program, and the 13 minute "Part II" are both available now on the double CD set on this website. All that would remain are any outtakes or unused stuff that someone else may have out there somewhere. It will be interesting to see if any of it surfaces some day, but that would mean someone besides myself still has something somewhere, and would agree to submit it. There won't be any Brocket 99 Anthology set coming out, to my knowledge. Thank you for your interest.

Good to hear from you again. Thanks for writing. No, I never got to see Cher. Although Tanya Tucker once came to Taber. That was a real hum-dinger. Thing is, she didn't do "Half Breed", just went on and on about Glen Campbell. Oh yeah, I did see Iris once too, at the Lodge Hotel in Lethbridge. Ah, those were the days.