THE BROCKET 99 NEWS AND INFORMATION CENTER

MORE "REAL" ERNIE SCAR INFO, SITE UPDATES & MORE

December 20th, 2003

I'm skeptical by nature. A net friend of mine said that to me recently. That made me realize that I'm the same way. Except I'm gullible and want to believe what people say too. I don't know how I can be all of these things but I just try to figure everything out as I go along.  Of course that makes for a scrambled life at times but usually things work themselves out and I am none the worse for wear. Which brings me to our favorite subject.

Two weeks ago I told you that I would have more information about my chat with the man who claims to be the "real" Ernie Scar. Here is some of that interview for you in wonderful text form. And yes it will be available on CD.

We first talked about Mark Campbell. 

'Ernie' "I can have affidavits, I can have court dockets.. and they still won't believe me. I can go down the street and say; Yeah I'm Ernie Scar and they'll all tell me to fuck off. You just want a piece of the action. We know it's Mark Campbell....  You have to choose to believe me or not to believe me. It's gotten to the point where there's no fear in standing up and claiming responsibility for it because...

They're not going to believe you anyway.

'Ernie'    Laughs. You have to choose to believe me or not to believe me.

( I start talking about the site and why I started it)

Ernie gives us a little plug

ERNIE SCAR COMES FORWARD FOR AN EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW...

December 7th, 2003

A man claiming to be the "real" Ernie Scar has come out of the tipi to be interviewed exclusively by Brocket99.Net. The interview is already in the can and we learned more than we could have ever dreamed. You heard right Brocketologists! After months of searching our journey may be over. Of course I can't be 100% sure until we get a voice analysis. That could take months and  will cost big money. Any offers to finance it?

The facts are that we've talked to numerous people who have been rumored to be Ernie. All of those interrogations including the infamous Mark Campbell interview led us to a dead end. This "Ernie Scar" has emailed me for months. He's remained mysterious. Then I finally received a phone call. At first he didn't sound like Ernie Scar. Of course he wasn't doing Ernie's voice. He threw a couple of Ernieisms out and, well because I'm a skeptical journalist (right) by nature, I just wasn't sure. But then it started seeping out. Here and there I could hear the laugh. His linguistics were similar. The inflections were exact! He had stories. He told them with no hesitation. Other people are confirming what he's said. And... they all made sense!

My instincts are usually right. I believe this man. If I'm wrong then I'll keep hunting and this guy can have a big laugh at our expense. But there's so much more to this story and it's coming soon to this site! You wanted the truth. You're going to get it.

And of course don't forget to check out the new letters in Ask Lenard! Got a question about Love, Life or Lysol? Ask Lenard!

Next time... A clip of his voice as Ernie Scar.

Michael

NATIVE COMEDIAN DON BURNSTICK SPEAKS OUT ABOUT BROCKET 99...

December 4th, 2003

I recently wrote to popular Native comedian Don Burnstick to find out whether he'd be interested in doing an interview with me. I also wanted to find out what he thought of Brocket 99. He's not thrilled with this radio parody in the least. Here is Don's first reply; "when I 1 st started doing comedy alot of people  asked me if I was the one who did brocket 99..........of cousre I said no.  plus the damage it has done over the yrs to the stereo typing of our people.......it was one of the things that inspired me to become a comedian....to show what I believe is true Indian humour...that is why I don't swear in my shows. or cds... I just released a new cd...my 1st in about 4 yrs....its called "redskin radio"  spoofs all the local rez radio stations accross our land"

So I wrote Don Burnstick again to ask if he would agree to be interviewed about this subject. Here is my exact email ;  Hi Don, I'm still very interested in doing an interview with you. If you can't send your CD to review I'm sure I can find some mp3 material and bio stuff so I'll have enough skeletal information. I'm actually going to buy a copy of the new CD if you can't send it as I'm very interested in hearing you. I am still most interested in your stance on Brocket 99. My site is not set up just to praise it. I really think it is important to get the other side of the story as well. If you'd still rather not do an interview, would you mind writing your feelings about Brocket 99 so that it can be published on the web site. It will appear on the Native issues page. You had mentioned to me that "it (Brocket 99) was one of the things that inspired me to become a comedian to show what I believe is true Indian humour" I hope you will follow up on that. Thanks once again for your time. Sincerely, Michael Anthony

Here was his response; "lets get one thing out of the way....my stance on brocket 99 is one of disgust.....the humour on it was not funny and very very crude. and total dishonored the Blackfoot nation.......when I 1st heard it all I could think was" how the people in brocket....Pegan Nation felt. still not sure the origin of that particular recording but I think it first serviced in the late 80s.......it was there I wanted to show what I felt was true indian humour..........that is why I made my recordings..... that is it. hope you quote me on this."

I want everyone to know that Don Burnstick was very courteous and professional each time he wrote to me. It does seem that he, like many other Natives is quite concerned that something like Brocket 99 was made, or exists and even continues to grow in popularity. Again, I can understand this and I respect his point of view.

However, I have a problem with his view because I've never believed hatred to be the true nature of Brocket 99. I believe that is is simply a great parody and that Natives just happen to be the source of the joke. Many people I've talked with have said some of their Native friends "love" Brocket 99 and other related parodies. They continued by saying that they thought Brocket was funny and not hateful.

Now I'm not exactly sure what the difference is between "spoofing" and "stereotype" but I assume if  people believe that there is hatred or ill will involved in a "parody" it ceases to be comedy and becomes a smear campaign. And if that's the truth, I agree with that definition. Don Burnstick points out that he does not swear in his shows or on his CD's. But I see that he does poke fun at Natives. You can easily see this on his web site and I'm assuming fun is made on his CD's as well.

The fact is that people do swear. People do make fun. And I'm sure that there are at least a few Natives who wonder why Don Burnstick would stereotype them as being bingo playing KFC eating people. It just confirms my belief even more that it's all about perspective. One man's trash is another's treasure. Don Burnstick is disgusted by Brocket 99. I am convinced that this is radio genius at its very finest. Can we agree to disagree? The invitation for an interview is still there Don. I appreciate your time and opinion.

Don Burnstick's quotes about Brocket 99 will be placed in our Native Section. If you are Native, we'd like your opinions too. Please feel free to email them.

Quickly one other piece of information. Every so often I receive an email or see an entry that says this to me "By the way... Brockett 99 was produced in '84, not '86 as you originally stated. "  This seems to be a huge rumor and it's believed fervently by many people. I'm very anal about this stuff so I'll tell you 84' believers that Brocket 99 couldn't possibly have been released in 1984 simply due to the fact that AC/DC didn't release Fly on the wall (one of Ernie's favorites) until 1985.

AC/DC - Fly on the wall Original Release Date: July 1985

Anal as ever,

Michael

A STATEMENT ABOUT HATE PLUS GREAT NEW HOLIDAY CD'S.

November 24th, 2003

I update the guestbook every week or two. I've noticed that people really want to start a forum about Natives vs. Whiteys on the site. This issue won't be resolved anytime soon I fear but if we at least try to understand the other point of view, we can begin to open our eyes.

The following is my response to the guestbook entrys started by a Native named The Truth.

FIRST OFF; I FUCKIN' HATE THESE GOD DAMNED POP UPS AND I APOLOGIZE FOR THEM. THEY ARE FROM LYCOS GEAR NOT THE SITE.

SECONDLY, I APPRECIATE EVERYONE'S COMMENTARY AND ENCOURAGE YOU ALL TO WRITE WHAT YOU FEEL. THIS SITE IS NOT A FORUM FOR HATRED OR RACISM OF ANY KIND. BUT IT IS ALSO NOT A PLACE FOR CENSORSHIP.

I'M INTO BROCKET 99 BECAUSE IT'S FUCKIN' FUNNY. FOR ME IT'S NOT A TOOL TO HATE OR MAKE FUN OF PEOPLE. IT'S A WAY TO MAKE ME LAUGH. COMEDY IS USUALLY PRESENTED THAT WAY. SOMEONE IS THE BRUNT OF THE JOKE!

SO, IF YOU WANT TO ARGUE ABOUT INDIANS AND HOW THEY SUCK OR ARE THE BEST PEOPLE ON EARTH, GO AHEAD. JUST KNOW THAT THE OWNER OF THIS WEB SITE IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR OTHER PEOPLE'S OPINIONS. I'VE GOT MY OWN PROBLEMS WITH PEOPLE OF CERTAIN BACKGROUNDS. BUT I DO MY BEST TO LOVE EVERYONE. I DON'T ALWAYS, HOWEVER I DO TRY. IF WE ALL DID THAT, WE'D HAVE A MUCH BETTER WORLD AND FEWER DIVISIONS. - MICHAEL ANTHONY BROKENHEAD.

Now, I wanted to tell you that there are 3 new CD's available just in time for the holidaze. RADIO CLIT is a take off of Brocket 99 based in Regina. The Drake Hotel supposedly pre dates Brocket 99 and features some young kids doing schtick. Finally, Lenny Red-Nuts Tough Buck from Brocket CD is absolutely worth your time if you're a Brocket Fan.

Happy Merry Whatever,

(a nice reaction to my guestbook entry)

Hi, Michael!

Doug from Fairfax here.  Hey, I just wanted to say that I read your latest posting in the news center...fuckin' awesome, man!

I loved what you said about hate and comedy and such.  I couldn't have put it better myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   Man, does that ever just sum it right up: "comedy is usually presented that way.  Someone is the butt of the joke." 
If you think about it, that is sooo true.  Someone or something is being poked-fun-at.  Eventually, it'll be your turn, so you have to develop a sense of humor about yourself, or you'd best learn to never laugh.  And I don't know about you, but I couldn't live like that.

Secondly....the last paragraph that starts off with, "so if you want to argue about Indians..." is friggin' sheer poetry as far as I'm concerned.  And, fuck...I know just where you're comin' from:  I have my own problems with certain folks, but I just suck it up and try to remember to take people on a one-on-one basis (even though I'll be the first to argue that catagorizing is not only human nature, but common sense for survival). 

And at the end of the day, I do my best to remember that as opinionated as I am, I could be wrong too, and try to take something positive from this crazy  existence and enjoy all the aspects of being human. 

Anyways, take care bro! 
Douglas Yellow-feet

Michael

NATIVE ISSUES, CULTURE, NEWS BROUGHT TO BROCKET99.NET

Not so Brocket,

November 7th, 2003

I've been meaning to do this for months. I wanted to start a section of this web site that was devoted to Native Issues.  I haven't had much help from Native sites but there are some Native supporters of Brocket 99 and this site that get it! They see the positive side of comedy. Conversely, whitey's that like to laugh at Brocket 99 should see the importance of looking at the serious side of Native issues. I hope that this section helps all of us to understand the other more clearly.

I'm looking for Native opinions concerning Brocket 99.  Please also let us know who you are and whether you might be interested in an interview by telephone concerning this subject. All comments both positive and negative are welcome. Your opinion will be taken seriously as we are committed to an equal forum. Send your thoughts via email. Someone will respond as soon as possible.

I, myself am part Native. I may be Cherokee or Chickacoan as far as I'm able to gather. My family is not actually sure and my grandmother was made to feel ashamed of her Native Blood. She denied that she was related to any tribe at all although her physical features told a much different story. I am actively looking for any information on my Native background and would appreciate any help in this matter as well.

Michael

ANOTHER BROCKET 99 OUT TAKE UNCOVERED:

Brocketober 26th, 2003

It's been a very slow month in Virtual Brocket. Too many whities lookin' at hockey I suppose. To spice it up, and while the crowds are gone, I'm offering the few visitors a two punch special. Not only can you get the Brocket 99 Ultimate 2 CD set for only $11.99 with free shipping from the Red Rooster Store but now it comes with an additional, never before offered one minute and eight second out take   Looks like Ernie didn't like the original ending to side one, so he re-recorded it and left this piece on the cutting room floor. But thanks to Brocketologist Lori, from Lori Is Amazing, we now have this rare find! And now you'll have it too! The cut itself has been dubbed to death but you can still hear it just fine. And if you're a Brocket 99 freak like me, you need it!

Brocketober 7th, 2003

BROCKET99.CA IS BACK ONLINE!!! Click em' Support em'!

There are a ton of new Brocket related CD's coming to the site this month. Look out for them. Also, in celebration of Brocketoberfest, we are offering FREE SHIPPING for all orders over $35.00 and everything in the Red Rooster Store (excludes cafe press orders) All you need to do is email us  with your order. We will send you a total and a link to pay with your credit card, check or snail mail address to pay with a money order.

Michael

Brocketober 2nd, 2003

For those who have wondered and emailed me about the status of Brocket99.Ca; (Direct link from our Blood page)I received  an email from their webmaster saying this "The current status of brocket99.ca is FUCKED!!! We are having some serious technical problems at the moment... but soon to be back online." Thanks very much for the update. We're pulling for you and can't wait to see you up and at'em again!

Brocketober 1st, 2003

Well, I just got back from my first actual vacation since 2000. I wish I could have said I visited Brocket but I wound up in Ocean City Maryland. Probably just as exciting. Now I'm ready to get this site ready for da holidaze. That's right! Brocketober is here! And we've got some bargains coming to da gift shop soon including more new shirts and a few udder tings dat we are keepin' under wraps until dere ready. Fuckin whitey's love to steal our ideas.

As far as one of the ideas for a Hockey Jersey on our polls page; "HOW MUCH WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO PAY FOR A PROFESSIONAL GRADE QUALITY BROCKET 99 JERSEY" Most of you voted $80 US. I just don't think I can find a place that will get a fantastic looking pro jersey done at that price plus deal with shipping. Most of what I've seen is crap. I want a jersey that a Canadian would be proud to wear. I'm going to keep trying. If there are any companies that you might know of that do this type of work for a reasonable price, please email us.

So, we were able to acquire brocket99.com this summer. You'll see that it forwards here if you type the address in. It wasn't easy. The previous owner had it for 3 years and never did anything with it. So when it came up, we were there to snag that mother.

We also noticed that brocket99.ca has been down for a few days. This has happened before with them. We hope that they weren't pulled by some ass sucking service provider. They're probably just under re-construction.  They have a different look and feel than we do and we think that's great. If anyone knows the status of .ca, please email us. If they did get pulled, we'd like to help if we can.

Our email page is working well with the cut of our address. Some people say it's a hassle but it keeps pesky virus bots away.

Brocket99.Net has received some fantastic reviews since our dawn. The fans are happy, the insiders have really made me feel great and the Brocketologists are sounding off too. You've heard me talk about my friend and probably the biggest Brocketology expert ever, the Mog. Well, recently Le Mog reviewed the CD Set. Here's part of what he had to say;

"how is the sound quality compared with other versions?
In a word....stellar!
Let me reiterate again that I've heard Brocket 99 literally hundreds of times since that first time in 1990 and believe me when I say this is the BEST most complete version you are ever going to get! No shit people - take my word for it that this is finally a version of Brocket 99 that I would fully endorse as worth every penny of your hard-earned dollars and then some. Absolutely everything to do with the original Brocket 99 is here - even some clips that yours truly had never heard up until this point. Obviously the seller of this version is no stranger to what fans were looking for. Mainly an archival quality version of this classic 'underground' recording that would last the purchaser for a lifetime."

Wow! I mean I never expected such great reviews. But I would have paid a shitload of money for the Brocket 99 CD's I offer if I didn't own them. But then again, I'm a crazy bastard. I'm probably related to Clayton Magnet. Thanks Mog! You made my day!

Well, we've got some Branvin to drink so until next time; See you in da Brocket Funeral Directory!

Michael

September 4th, 2003

I'm very concerned that many people are receiving the sobig and or other viruses via brocket99.net email addresses. It seems that either a bot or some asshole stole some addresses from our web site and are sending virus filled emails using our addresses. Below are some actions you can take to keep your computer safe. I've been able to avoid the viruses by following these simple steps and I've received over 1000 emails with this virus attached.

Never open emails that you are not sure about.  Watch for emails that contain general subject lines like That movie Your details Wicked Screensaver and others. Try not to open mail via Outlook express as it automatically opens attachments. Search Google for a free virus or worm checker. These devices, if trustworthy, will check your computer for any potential viruses. If you have a virus, download Norton anti-virus or another similar software package to get rid of your bug.

I have taken steps to ensure that the hacker screws never do this again but you can't be sure. There is now a new email page on this web site. I have removed all other direct email links from my sites. This email page contains a safe and sure way to send email to us. However, you can bet your ass we scan all emails and never open suspicious email. Please put Brocket 99 in your email subject line if it's not already there. We apologize if anyone has been hit by these jerks.

Fuck the hackers, you'll never shut us down!

Michael

August 4th, 2003

Hey there Brocketologists! It's been a banner week here. Usually we wind up with about 1 - 2 orders per week which is fine by me. But thanks to the Don and Mike show, we've had over 30. I alone am working fast as possible to get them all out and I estimate that I will get every one in the mail by Wednesday, August 5th. The first 10 went out Saturday morning. I have to juggle this in-between my regular full time gig. Anyway, patience buddies, they'll be on the way soon!

Speaking of the radio gods, I received another email from Joe telling me about the calls he's been receiving on Brocket 99. Keep it up everyone! And thanks to all the Don and Mike listeners and insiders who have written and posted comments.

Was wondering if any of the listeners had any info on the "Brocket 99" mystery featured on the Don and Mike show this week. For those not that familiar, apparently there is a CD of very funny and equally non-policatal "bits" by a supposed native American DJ, Ernie Scar, made on a low powered FM station at an Indian Reservation just north of the Canadian Border in the 80's. The bits feature intros to songs and supposed commercials by Scar, who makes light of Native American stereotypes in the collection. What isn't exactly clear is if the guy is for real, and if he isn't, who made the now infamous "Ernie Scar" tapes.... (8/1/03)

Too bad on WJFK's new voice - the current one is much better. If they were going to change anyway, why not go for something really different, and look up Ernie Scar? He can't be too busy up at Brockett 99... DCH (8/4/03)

Today was an interesting shift. For the first time in a while I got a six hour shift, 11-5. This part was not so interesting, except for Ty coming in an hour late and being hung over and stoned, and continuing to dissappear throughout the shift. I took the 5:17pm bus home, but didn't get home until 6:15pm. The traffic was jammed. I've never seen it that bad. And, as a topper, I got stuck sitting in front of a bunch of potheads. No, no, you don't understand - talkative potheads. For the whole hour they didn't shut up. First they chatted about their different boxes and how many pipes they could hold, and then about their kids and their wives (one guy was planning on making a crib out of a wide surf board for his next kid), then about a radio show they were going to do called Weed 420, in sort of a copycat of Brocket 99. So, here are the most interesting quotes that I can remember

Now on to the BIG NEWS! A good friend of the site sent us an out take not previously available on the 2 CD Set. It's Ernie Scar tripping over his chair. This out take was originally suppose to be the beginning of side 2 and is about 39 seconds. However I guess they scrapped it in favor of a more radio like time check. The quality is crappy from all of the over dubbing but it's still very audible and well worth the addition to the 2 CD set. I just started adding them last Thursday. And there's good news for most of you who ordered last week. The out take is on about 75% of the CD's I sent out. 

I've been getting emails asking me to bring back the Cafe Press gear no matter the price. The fact is that Cafe Press tagged new rules up on their terms of use page that included new fees for each item and other ridiculous taxes and charges. The only way to get around the already high prices was to raise them even more. I pulled the stores in June but Brocket fans kept insisting I bring back the stores. So, I did. Check it out now. There's more new gear too! Enjoy!

Finally, the Native page is coming together and should be up soon. The Native page includes information, resources, music art and knowledge for and about Aboriginal Tribes native to the America's. I do appreciate the positive words concerning this project. As for the negative feedback; I don't give a damn about what you haters think. That's NOT what Brocket99.Net is about even if some people think it is.  If you'd like your site, band or tribe listed on the page, please shoot me an email.

Thanks,

Michael

BROCKET 99 HEARD BY MILLIONS ON THE DON AND MIKE SHOW!

July 30th, 2003

Well, once again a big thanks is in order for Don and Mike. I was invited on the Nationally Syndicated radio show today to talk about Brocket 99. They treated me fairly and got to the point quickly. Who is Ernie Scar? I told them the truth. I don't know.   They said that they thought they were being played and even thought I might be Ernie Scar so that I could promote the web site. Mike even asked me to do a few Ernie Scar impressions.  I did. That didn't set their minds at ease.

Don and Mike didn't believe me when I said I wasn't Ernie Scar. But you know what? That's the highest compliment someone could give me. I don't think I sound a bit like Ernie. I've even tried my hand at Brocket parodies and I don't have it down nearly as well as say The Dick Twang Band. So it remains a mystery as to who created Brocket 99 and that's okay by me. If Ernie Scar ever wants to be outed, I'm sure he'll let the world know. So thanks Don and Mike.  You rock my whitey reservation!

I also want to thank everyone for their kind emails regarding the web site and my appearance on the show. You're the reason I do this. Well, that's not true. I'm the reason I do this, but I swear that you are the ones that make it all worthwhile.

Thanks,

Michael

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